I would rather be fat

ihatethegym.

Hi guys,
I would like to begin by stating that this is a tongue in cheek rant and for anyone who is offended, I sincerely apologize.

I hate exercise! There I said it. Who were the people that got together and decided that running, doing jumping jacks and doing sit ups and press up was a fantastic idea?

There are no words enough to describe how much I detest going to the gym and my enthusiastic trainer doesn’t exactly help. Just like clockwork, 4.30 pm my cell rings and I’m dreading answering it. “Hey Toya, don’t forget to eat something before you head over for here’. A chuckle usually follows before a quick ‘FYI, we’re doing legs or arms today! See you soon. Get ready to sweat!” At this point, I’m cursing him out in my head while I smile and say OK through my teeth. I’m sure he knows that I don’t like him very much but I’m yet to meet the person who likes their trainer.  Anyone? Any takers?

Oh by the way, what is the big deal about eating healthy? I don’t know about you guys but eating healthy is so boring. I have tried every single diet in the book; Atkins, water the zone and they all SUCK! Maybe because the food tastes so bland and horrid. When did Kale become a thing and did I miss the memo that said salad dressing was from the devil? I would like to meet the people who decided that jelly filled donuts, custard filled donuts, and donuts, in general, are evil? Or where the meeting was held when soda was made from the pits of hades? I remember a few years ago before I got married and I was hard at work to look stunning in my wedding dress( don’t judge me every girl wants to look like a princess on her wedding day); my diet included, Eko yes you heard right cold Ogi for breakfast, steamed fish and veggies for lunch, Abgalumo and water for dinner. At some point, I swear, I was bleating like a sheep because of all the carrots, cabbage and lettuce I was consuming. Side note: I looked like a million bucks on my special day.

Can anyone tell me why the things that are bad for you taste like heaven? Why every single thing is bad for you; palm oil is bad, watermelon has too much sugar, and bananas make you fat, since when? At this point I would be much happier if I don’t exercise ever again and once I finish this post I’m going to grab my car keys and head to Dunkin Donuts for a dozen donuts, half of the custard filled ones and half of the jelly ones plus a large size coco-cola, oh wait my trainer just called me,

Damn!